Sunday, October 18, 2009

Cigarettes will kill you

but sometimes I wish I was a smoker...


This is me, circa July 2008, at a dress-up party. I wasn't really planning on smoking but am not really one to pass up the opportunity to go all out at a dress-up party either...

Sometimes I wish I was a smoker, not because I like nicotine or want lung cancer, but because there are some situations/circumstances that only smokers can really get away with purely by virtue of being a smoker (and (probably) also due to societal norms):

- you can sit at a cafe by yourself with a ciggie in your hand and not look like a loner/loser/Nigel-No-Mates




I love this scene of Soshanna (Mélanie Laurent) at the cafe - Inglourious Basterds.


- you can take breaks at work, when you like, and how often you like without being questioned and without loosing any annual leave (!!!)

 

- you can interrupt awkard social situations (eg, bad date, boring party, someone passing gas) by going outside and not have to pull out your cell phone to look like your outside doing something ligitimate

- you can stand out on the street and people watch without looking too creepy or voyeuristic because hey - you're smoking, what else are you going to do?

- you can suppress your hunger and similarly you therefore have an excuse for gaining weight when you "quit smoking"

 


- you have an excuse to start talking to almost anyone and everyone - "excuse me, do you have a lighter?"

- you get instant entry into the "cool smokers area" (inside and outside) at places worldwide: parties, gigs, cafes, student places, weddings, night clubs, church gatherings etc...

- there are breaks dedicated to you during lectures that are more than 1 hr long (wtf?)

But, despite saying all that...

 


Seriously.


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